The Dilemma!!!

I can't control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. There's only now, there's only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today - read these lines somewhere today while reading the newspaper....Roaming in the Crawford Market today, the Leobond was in a big dilemma whether I actually want to leave Mumbai and go back??.....A place where I started my career, made so many friends and the fast moving life but all comes to a stop when I think of my near and dear ones and as we say "Home is where the heart is"....still the Leobond lives in Dilemma.....Crossing the streets in Colaba, I had only one thought in my mind that I love to roam in these streets so much, love to eat here, eating at naturals and sitting at Marine drive.....Chotu, my dearest shopping partner and I roamed like rats today and after every break I took, my dilemma was again there in my mind. Sitting in the local and as the sweet breeze blows my hair in the air, the Leobond feels that my journey of Life is too frequent in the Mumbai-Delhi way. I always feel connected to this place and the best part is the security and freedom with which we all can move at any point of time..The leobond was bought up in the greenary of Assam and West Bengal so was able to speak Assamese and Bengali more fluently than Hindi.....My parents used to sometimes get worried if I will learn Hindi properly or not...After 12th , I left the land of rising sun and did my graduation from a place totally different from which I was bought up... The NCR as we call it, and spent good 6 years of Grad/PG and only approx 3 years in Mum have made me so connected to this place...I am too excited to see what next lies in the future and where my destiny takes me to and for how long coz one thing is for sure, I cry or smile still my life will never fail to be adventurous at any point of time and always full of little story....So, as and when time updates me with my destiny so will the viewers of this blog with my little story of life which I name it as -Memoirs of LeoBond!!!....

The French Classes!!!!

"I am BUSY" is the buzz word  and Jaldi bolo kya kaam hai waali is fast moving world mein the Leobond is now telling you her favourite part of not so happening work life ;)...Apart from my lovely friends in Mum , the best part were my new FRENCH Classes!!.....I always wanted to learn a new language and when I nominated myself for this, I was pretty sure I wont get to do it because I was told that it was specifically for France Business Unit....But hopesssssssssss....is what we human beings never leave and a person like me whose life is always full of adventures always expects something unusual to happen. The classes were suppose to commence from 16th Aug and 14th noon I go a mail from Learning Deptt saying that my nomination was rejected as seats were full...:(...With a huge sigh I smiled and said to myself -"I think I knew it"....Suddenly I refreshed my inbox and another mail saying "Your Nomination has been Accepted "......I read it and showed my rabbit tooth generally which is there on my face which my Bro usually says....An unexpected but a desire was getting fulfilled...:)...On 16th Aug, it was 9.30 and Room No# 51 was full of 32 odd faces, and a French Teacher -Madame Anupa....We all gave introductions and the reason behind enrolling for this class and the Inception of all weird words coming and hitting the mind which we were slowly suppose to say - It began with Je m'appelle Rekha which means My name is Rekha and the rest is all history. The 3 day classes in a week are the most wonderful moments for me as I feel like a little girl still in school learning alphabets and making mistakes with grammar and sentences...This back to school feeling is really special at one point of time and its during these sessions that I came to know many new people and all of different qualities!!! Its fun to connect with everyone, each one trying to help the other one learn French in a better way...Fun parts is the word -e'coute which in French means to listen and we all make a lot of fun about it by saying saying its Hindi pronunciation...hehheee....Its September and we have learnt to say good lines in French which shows atleast a new additional knowledge of a Country, its culture and the place to this extent...In short, the Leobond is Loving It!!!!!.....

To live after you loose your loved ones in Life!!!!

The year 2010 has showed the Leobond many ups and downs in life but the losses are unbearable. I am talking about my elder Di -Usha Di. She was 12 years elder to me. When in my summer holidays, I used to go to Allahabad, we used to have loads of fun and she used to make me read and learn new things.I was very fond of her. I was 11 years old when on one summer vacation I came to know that she was getting married, and not fully aware of what was happening I was busy in the marriage masti and could never understand the reason behind the sadnes - the sadness which at one point of time all the girls in India undergo, i.e leaving the house of their parents and starting a new life afresh. After marriage I could hardly meet her on my summer holidays and it were only letters which were the medium of communication as there were no mobiles past 9 years. In the due course of time I became the Maasi of two kids and time has moved on. There were ocassions when we used to chat and her love for us still remained the same. This year on Raju bhaiya's wedding, we were so exited about everything. Di used to be there for all the preparations and had spent good time together without knowing that this was the last time I was seeing her as Fate had different plans. Before we said good bye to each other she scolded me and said, bas I wont hear anything now, year end and I should be here attending your marriage. I smiled at her and said 'Jo agya Didi'. Shez no more and the loss is unbearable. Its hard to digest but I have no choice and God has never left options. My own life is not going to b with me and can leave me anytime, how the hell can I trust anyone else and thats the real truth. We live, we struggle but at the end puppets in God's hand and helpless, whenever he wants, he takes away our loved ones from us and like puppets we accept everything and with time the pain reduces.We all know and agree to this fact but since we are Human beings we still EXPECT/LOVE/LIVE/STRUGGLE and the VISCIOUS CYCLE continues!!!!.....

A Boat Without A Rudder!!!!

Every morning I wake up, get ready, go for work ,come home, eat and sleep....What is the purpose of my Life???? I feel as if I am 'A Boat without A rudder'...I am not the only one to feel this, there are many...I have no goals I guess...I mean I don't know exactly what am I expecting - a job change,going back,cribbing on little things because these are the things which make me unhappy but when I see around myself I see no probs at all and think everyday that is this the only reason why I am on this earth??...work ,sleep,eat and thats it....I had to take some printouts and I was away from office,so went to a Cafe near by...As soon as i asked for the system,I got scared as he was mute and he in his own way was trying to show me the system...I kept gazing at the person for a few sec and realized suddenly how foolish I have been at times to behave irrationally when I seriously have no problems at all...:(....I was getting late for my interview and he arranged all the papers so well that i was surprised at the quickness...The smile that he wore was so serene that it made me think n number of times what is the purpose of my life???At this moment I can only understand one thing, that things are hazy but there must be a ray of light which really shows me the meaning of my existence.... Atleast bringing a smile on the face of people around me...I have always admired Bhu & Shreesh for the profession they choose, the Leobond thinks everytime thinking about -I,ME,MYSELF is the limit;may be we should move on....there are very few people who think about others...I am full of over flooding emotions but I seriously think that all my friends, we should all atleast have one good cause in our lives to live for apart from work(I),home(ME/MYSELF). I am sure I will figure out where my RUDDER very soon....:):)....